Not a cult

1. The moon is red tonight. Local astronomers claim this to be completely unpredicted. Taskforces have redirected considerable resources to a coastal blockade, despite assurances that this is "nothing more than light reflecting through certain clouds." Beaches have been closed.

The North-Eastern mountains have long been thought completely mundane, until today where large plumes of smoke have risen into the sky. Ash and debris have been thrown up into the air, and citizens have reported that the brontide "shook [them] to their bones." 

Around the city reports have flood authorities of children crying for their lives, insistent that terrible beasts are coming for them and their loved ones. They call out to Doint for forgiveness, and mention a string of sunken tankers off the coast. Taskforces have taken note.

Rare cosmic energies have occurred, computational technologies around the city have malfunctioned in synchronisation in a pattern believed to be Morse code. O-C-T-O-B. The issue is still on going.

A wizard has acquired illness. Despite a wizard's insistence, a wizard has been relieved of council duty for the time being. A wizard has swore vengeance against those who have wronged a wizard. Taskforces have added a wizard to the list. 

Taskforces ask civilians to avoid the downtown mercantile district, in light of the recently revealed cannibal cult massacre that took place in a local butchery. Prime suspects have escaped, and taskforces advise not to inhale or look in the direction of the butchery. A Pascal Daskachov original was found at the scene. 

Recent results show that Taskforce officers are too busy giving orders to shoot criminals and zoids alike. A solution has been created to combat the issue, a automated turret mounted to the officer's helmet, to allow for maximum efficiency.

The condominium has acquired a few newly built floors. Corporate hopes for both the Condominium and other local buildings to be able to expand outwards and upwards, in the future. Moneybags assures the public that this is unrelated to recent political expenditure.

The work of local meatsmith, Pascal Daskachov, has appeared in several restricted locations, including Corporate HQ. Daskachov denies any connections with the events and is currently under investigation.

A crazed gunman was thwarted today, as his gun misfired and a patrolling taskforce dealt with the situation. This firearm was found on the shooter, despite the two fatalities from the shooting, there appears to be no firing mechanism nor other crucial components. Large amounts of seagulls were reported in the area prior to the event.

It dawns on Corporate taskforces that, due to being stretched thin dealing with various issues, that the problem, of the Creature of the Ghetto Wall, is yet to be dealt with. Looking through records, several taskforce squads have been assigned to the area, their paychecks have been piling up and none of them seem to have clocked out at any point during the past 3 months. 

Corporate Moneybags has recently invested in a new headquarter building. Some have criticised the expense and Italian architecture, these people have been asked if they would like to opt out of the Corporate Protection Service. 

The forest echoes with the broadcasted screams of an unidentified person, they keep screaming: "October." Nobody knows what it could mean. No one has seen the travelling ass.

Throughout the week issues with the city's networks have occurred sporadically. Affecting various areas of the city,  ranging from internal finance computing, to public noticeboards. A direct result of this being that the soviet symbol issue is now solved. Corporate technicians are working on the issue.

The Susej Cave area is now quarantined, due to the usage of class-A chemicals in use in the area. A side effect of which appears to be the unexpected creation of a new form of plantform. The bright blue mushrooms may be tempting to go near, but authorities maintain the area a quarantine zone and have posted taskforces to patrol the area. 

And as the thief herald, it was. A presence amongst the people in material form. Relics. Taken shape from the pits of the forgelord's domain, cast of enamel and malice. Relics returned to the people, as will their lord. Cipactli.