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Butchery

Taskforces ask civilians to avoid the downtown mercantile district, in light of the recently revealed cannibal cult massacre that took place in a local butchery. Prime suspects have escaped, and taskforces advise not to inhale or look in the direction of the butchery. A Pascal Daskachov original was found at the scene. 

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Time Crimes

 Local time thieves have stolen eleven hours from public clocks. Officials have denied allegations that corporate time keeping has been affected in a recent conference. The conference was delayed for unrelated reasons. The public have been asked to refrain from referring to these events as "Time Crimes".
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