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"Computers Crash,

Rare cosmic energies have occurred, computational technologies around the city have malfunctioned in synchronisation in a pattern believed to be Morse code. O-C-T-O-B. The issue is still on going.

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A week's favourite

Tic Tacs

 Previously archived study suggests that recently formed "Time Crime Tactical Squad" has always existed. The Department of Funding has recently unearthed a blank cheque addressed to the TCTacs, along with a cease and desist order, barring the department from further investigation. Both documents had been signed by current administration of finance, Keith Ledger, who is scheduled to have a heart attack next week.