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Mother Jones is fine

Mother Jones is just fine and she thanks you not to bother her any more about her health and well being, she just needs some time alone. Reports of wails and cries for mercy inbetween sobs, in the area are all fabrications. Mother Jones urges everyone to go about their normal day to day business. 

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Acquired Sentience Disorder

New payment systems have had a unforeseen side effect, as living tissue is transferred to AI controlled sorting bays. These AIs have been created with the ability to learn from organic payment transactions, to create in depth predictions of the system's impact on the economy. A minor oversight in the software hard-coded into the AI, means that certain organic matter can cause an effect that is being called: Acquired Sentience Disorder. Machines with ASD have recently caused productivity problems, breaking down as they run into conflicts with their base coding. Any signs of ASD is to be reported immediately. Measures are being taken to prevent impact of ASD. Corporate apologises for the inconvenience.  
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