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Mother Jones is fine

Mother Jones is just fine and she thanks you not to bother her any more about her health and well being, she just needs some time alone. Reports of wails and cries for mercy inbetween sobs, in the area are all fabrications. Mother Jones urges everyone to go about their normal day to day business. 

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A week's favourite

Gunman

A crazed gunman was thwarted today, as his gun misfired and a patrolling taskforce dealt with the situation. This firearm was found on the shooter, despite the two fatalities from the shooting, there appears to be no firing mechanism nor other crucial components. Large amounts of seagulls were reported in the area prior to the event.
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