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Mother Jones is fine

Mother Jones is just fine and she thanks you not to bother her any more about her health and well being, she just needs some time alone. Reports of wails and cries for mercy inbetween sobs, in the area are all fabrications. Mother Jones urges everyone to go about their normal day to day business. 

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Tic Tacs

 Previously archived study suggests that recently formed "Time Crime Tactical Squad" has always existed. The Department of Funding has recently unearthed a blank cheque addressed to the TCTacs, along with a cease and desist order, barring the department from further investigation. Both documents had been signed by current administration of finance, Keith Ledger, who is scheduled to have a heart attack next week.