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Triple Threat

Bruch still remains uncontained. Taskforces+ had confirmed his capture earlier today but, after continued mayhem, have come to the conclusion that there are several Bruchs loose in Malvern. Taskforces+ hope to contain them before they have an opportunity to escape over the border and create an international incident. 
Burst Meatbags have been uncovered in Shanty Town.  

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A week's favourite

Tic Tacs

 Previously archived study suggests that recently formed "Time Crime Tactical Squad" has always existed. The Department of Funding has recently unearthed a blank cheque addressed to the TCTacs, along with a cease and desist order, barring the department from further investigation. Both documents had been signed by current administration of finance, Keith Ledger, who is scheduled to have a heart attack next week.
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