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Mother Jones is well


Mother Jones is well and requests that all future transactions be made with an obscure root know as a "potato salmon", apparently found in rainforests always exactly 20 metres away from any given cocoa plant.

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Water Contaminated

Taskforces apologise today, after water sources local to the cave area have become contaminated. It appears that the main water supply came from the caves, within which fugitive Susej was hiding. Taskforces have reason to believe that Susej and their potential offspring have died in the chemical sterilisation of the cave system. Taskforces urge citizens not to come into contact with any contaminated water, as the chemicals used are highly lethal, poisonous, reactive, carcinogens, and flammable.