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One of the king's doctors does an biopsy on himself

He reported that he felt somewhat ill, and saw fit to perform a biopsy on himself in an attempt to prolong his life.
Tumours spilled forth from the incision and it was decided to evacuate the room and lock the door. That sector of the Condominium is now under quarantine. 

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A week's favourite

Gunman

A crazed gunman was thwarted today, as his gun misfired and a patrolling taskforce dealt with the situation. This firearm was found on the shooter, despite the two fatalities from the shooting, there appears to be no firing mechanism nor other crucial components. Large amounts of seagulls were reported in the area prior to the event.