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Health concerns

This was seen at a local Condominium diner, this raises health and safety concerns as all slices of pizza are legally required to be de-boned immediately after leaving the slaughter house

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Time Crimes

 Local time thieves have stolen eleven hours from public clocks. Officials have denied allegations that corporate time keeping has been affected in a recent conference. The conference was delayed for unrelated reasons. The public have been asked to refrain from referring to these events as "Time Crimes".